i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
