But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Of course I have a pirate flag
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
