yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
