I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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