oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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