Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
