I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
