i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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