I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How's work?
Spinning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
