her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
