Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We are all done wearing pants today
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
