i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
