ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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