We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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