Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think people are normalizing furries
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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