i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
