Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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