Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I understand Curling. That high.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
