420 ftw
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
