she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
