its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
