I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
