I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You're like the curious george of whores
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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