If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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