big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize