I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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