I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize