I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
