FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
