Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
vagina is talking i cant
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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