"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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