Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
