dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize