sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We got so high we made milksteak
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
