Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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