She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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