youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
