If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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