just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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