i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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