question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
