Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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