his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
