thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
