no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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