He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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