What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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