oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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