his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
