He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
