my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
