Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
