sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
