Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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