Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
