hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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