I hate all girls vehemently.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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