Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
