ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
