I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize