i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
