I'm drive I can fine osifer
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize