Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
