Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
