i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
